Cynicism is the curse of our age; and nowhere is that more prevalent than in responses to Boris Johnson’s hoisting of the political trousers.
Far from being ‘self-serving’ or ‘opportunistic’ (to use the emotive language favoured by the Left, here) Mr Johnson’s penchant for saying one thing, then doing the opposite, is no less than the kind of integrity that I have come to expect from the man – as a matter of course.
Johnson is not one for any mere bandwagon-hopping. Evincing, instead, the rapid circular motion of a man at the peak of his form: one who is more than able to both have cake, and eat it – as his amply-proportioned bosom testifies.
It may very well be true that Mr Johnson owes his existence to a similar comestible vacillation of Mother Nature’s. Having first intended to create a blancmange, then changing her mind midway – thus gifting Boris Johnson, as is, to the world.
But we should all be grateful for small mercies. Especially at a time like this.
One cannot be too careful about a delicate conundrum such as Brexit. It is just the sort of thing which could very quickly turn a most frightful purler, without firm hands holding the reins on Britain’s ship of state.
And that is where Boris Johnson comes into his own.
Rightly or wrongly, people judge by appearances – and on that score, Johnson stands peerless: as a fellow of unquestionable swank.
No matter the political storms that rage in the Parliamentary teacup, Mr Johnson’s comb-over has invariably proven unflappable. Not a folicle is ever out of place. Or not so as you’d notice, at any rate.
Would it be a touch flattering to suggest that this is the very epitome of the man? Demonstrating the ingrained British reluctance to surrender, to the steady dawning of reality?
Few may care to venture such liberal odds – but I say fellows of Johnson’s caliber are the very reason why I rank being British among my greatest achievements.
The task ahead remains a daunting one; but with Boris Johnson standing athwart the historical moment, I am certain that the whole Brexit process will prove to be a singularly fruity binge.
And that’s the kind of pledge you can put on the side of a bus.