A brief guide to euphemisms in political-journalism
Important intervention: a trite observation; a vague statement of the obvious
Coordinated: ad-hoc; badly organised.
Furious row: pointless bickering
A reliable source: an unreliable source of information
A senior source: a source abusing their position of trust
Latest opinion poll: latest made up numbers
Polling very badly: polling well
Win: lose
Triumph: lose badly
Son of a humble bus-driver: a crook who had to leave their previous job in banking, due to misconduct
Park tanks on opponent’s lawn: make insincere pledges for personal gain
Moral high ground: the political gutter
Centre ground: hard-right economics
Radical centre: hard-right economics
Centre left: committed to hard right economics
Moderate: right-wing
Prudent: right-wing
Liberal: right-wing, but not afraid of homosexuality
Pro-Europe: right-wing – but prioritising money over racism, by a narrow margin
Extreme left: left-wing
Radical: mild
Not really radical at all: quite radical
People: big business and major banks
Peoples’ vote: a lobbying effort conducted in the interests of big business and major banks
The needs of the nation: the profiteering of big business and major banks
Patriotism: serving the interests of big business and major banks
Impressive: feeble or unconvincing
Increasingly impressive: embarrassingly feeble or unconvincing
Forced to: chosen to
Chosen: been compelled by circumstance
Confirms: repeats a previously disproved claim
Accessory: innocent bystander
Standing by: being left powerless by events
Doing nothing: working tirelessly
If…: what will not happen is…
Then…: therefore we won’t see….
If the Prime Minister loses a vote of confidence then there will be a change of government: what will not happen is the Prime Minister losing a vote of confidence, therefore we won’t see a change of government.
Noble and difficult: self-serving and unpopular
Healing divisions: sidelining the public
Bringing people back together: overruling the public
Cross-party effort: stitching the public up openly
Achieving consensus: stitching the public up discreetly
Resistance: grifting; grandstanding
Rebel: an MP who never rebels
Next time: never
Next time might: will never
Next time might vote to prevent: will never under circumstances vote to prevent
Increasingly unlikely: already confirmed
Unchanged: constantly vacillating
Position has not altered: position has been substantially altered on a number of occasions; and is now back to where it was originally
Come a long way: gone around in circles
Seeking: supplicating
Demanding: pleading
Insisting: begging
Renegotiate: continue to demand something which has been rejected repeatedly
Genuinely: insincerely
Clever: dishonest; manipulative
Woo: attempt to bribe
Hard-left Brexiter: somebody who opposed and campaigned against Brexit; and has sought to mitigate it ever since
Worst opposition leader in history: one of the most effective opposition leaders in history
An opposition that doesn’t really know how to oppose: an opposition which has repeatedly inflicted defeats on the government
Ought to be taking full advantage of this situation: was severely damaged by this situation
Fascinating: tedious
Importance : triviality
Pointless: worthwhile
Unmemorable: significant
Stand with: issue platitudes
Easy: impossible
Impossible: easy
Only too easy to imagine: impossible to visualize
Impossible to believe: easily envisioned
Refused to answer: wasn’t willing to answer a trick question
Refused to deny: wasn’t able to answer a trick question
Seemed to u-turn: reiterated a previous statement which had been ignored
Civility: not disputing the claims of journalists
Incivility: pointing out flaws/inconsistencies in a journalist’s output/logic
A nightmare: a minor inconvenience
The political class has let us all down: the politics I have always supported are now beginning to jeopardize my own interests – it’s not fair