The Right-Minded View: The Richmond Byelection – Farewell, Zac Goldsmith

by richardhutton

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I am not a supporter of the Conservative Party, myself – though I do invariably vote for them in elections; I merely believe in fairness, and giving people their due. On that tack, I say it is only right to extol the many virtues of Mr Zac Goldsmith.

As a man of conviction, Mr Goldsmith took a principled approach to the London mayoralty contest, by noting the distinct similarity between the surnames of the Labour candidate, Sadiq Khan, and famed Mongol Horde chieftain: the warlord Mr Genghis Khan.

As a point of order, Mr Goldsmith bravely demanded that the one Mr Khan clarify any possible links to the other Mr Khan; and confirm that he had no plans to lay waste to Central Asia in like manner. I, for one, do not doubt for a moment that this was a genuine point of concern for Mr Goldsmith’s part.

It was perhaps this peerless repository of personal integrity which saw Goldsmith romp home to an impressive second-place finish, overall. Indeed, had the London Mayoralty contest been an Olympic event, this would have garnered a silver medal, no less. Something to bear in mind for future contests.

On much the same tack of, well, thing, (about fairness and dues etc), the Liberal Democrats warrant a fittingly fulsome encomium; as is only proper.

As their formidable leader, Mr Tim Farron, has noted, there is little to no discernible difference between Zac Goldsmith on the one hand, and Mr Jeremy Corbyn on the other. Whereas Goldsmith engaged in populism (sometimes mis-spelled these days as ‘racism’) for personal gain; Mr Corbyn has never done or said anything derogatory about anyone. You simply cannot tell the two men apart, in my view.

What’s more, unlike sundry latte-sipping Leftists, who live in out of touch parts of the country like Islington, Richmond represents the pulse beating at the very heart of the nation’s corpse.

While Richmond may be more affluent than Islington, and more exclusive, and less socio-economically diverse, with a much less varied array of ethnicity and nationalities among its inhabitants – and for that matter, geographically indistinct – it clearly represents something or another; which proves that whatever political interpretation is attached to this byelection result is not merely of national significance, but is also indisputably correct. And you can’t say better than that, now, can you?

Farewell then Zac Goldsmith – a true gentleman and scholar of British politics. Welcome, in turn, a ninth Parliamentary member for the propitious Liberal Democrats – easing themselves into position as a sort of political suppository for the softening of Brexit.

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