The Right-Minded View: The Reintroduction of Grammar Schools

by richardhutton

Gradgrindapprehendshischildren

There is an excellent case for reintroducing Grammar schools; however, I can’t help but wonder if it goes quite far enough?

Grammar schools undoubtedly ensure that the best and the brightest students – that is to say, children from the best families – will prosper. We needn’t worry too much about the other 80% of pupils for the time being.

So, if fairness of outcome is the order of the day, is it right that a Grammar system should be applied only to schools? I would venture not. Therefore, what I propose, is a holistic imposition of Grammar stratification on every single last aspect of social infrastructure in Britain. For the public’s own benefit, of course. Commonsense decrees that if it’s beneficial to impose selectivity on children, then it’s more than fitting to apply it to all areas of life

For example, we could have Grammar hospitals; where those patients who are in the finest fettle are no longer hindered by the sick, and the dying. The majority of medical resources could thereafter be devoted to them accordingly.

We could have Grammar supermarkets, where the best and brightest fruit and vegetables are allowed to fulfill their aspirations; with no disadvantages accrued from time spent on the less refined five-a-days.

And finally, we could – nay, should – even go so far as to create Grammar funeral parlours; where the most ambitious cadavers are not held back by their slower-moving brethren. This will provide an enriching vein of competition, bringing out the best in the recently deceased; and benefiting the nation as a whole.

All told, I think that this excellent scheme of sorting and sifting should proceed forthwith. Never did me any harm, I can tell you.

Advertisements