The Right-Minded View: The Conservative Government’s Internal Disarray Over The EU Referendum

by richardhutton

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The croissant-nibblers among us may say what they will; but if you ask me – which, much to my disgust, no one has – this referendum can but be a good thing. Throughout the entire proceedings thus far, the quality of debate has been nothing short of first rate. From Messrs Johnson et al opining that Mr Cameron’s mother is obese; to our nation’s Prime Minister retorting that his opponents’ respective matriarchs have a penchant for promiscuity – the tone has proven simply imperious.

What is more, it has brought out the very best in their colleagues and peers, too – with all and sundry competing to put the ‘compassion’ back into compassionate Conservatism. Ms Priti Patel was only this week denouncing the hardship endured by ordinary Britons under the yoke of austerity; as imposed by whomsoever has seen fit to inflict it on the country. Probably foreigners.

On the other side of the circle, Chancellor Osborne has voiced his deep concern at the prospect of numerous households suffering a significant loss of income, following withdrawal from the EU. This represents a very grave circumstance; the prospect of which clearly gives Mr Osborne sleepless nights. So much so that he would simply never countenance anything that might result in withdrawal symptoms, of any kind.

No less fitful a dreamer is the philanthropic alumni of Perugia, Mr Iain Duncan Smith – whose charitable nature, and heartfelt concern for ordinary Britons has never known earthly bounds. Liberating our country from the shackles of the EU will turn Britain into an independent country once more; thereby allowing our government to put the welfare of its own citizens first – by making torture chambers conveniently accessible to wheelchair-users, for example, instead of being bound by Brussels’ red-tape.

Rising head and shoulders above even these esteemed luminaries, however, is Mr Boris Johnson – whose choice of tie has been superb throughout the entire referendum debate: a slap in the face to those who doubt his leadership abilities.

And last but not least, the Prime Minister himself; who generously bestowed this referendum on the nation to begin with. A patriot, who puts Britain’s interests first. That’s why he is willing to withdraw our countrymen from the European Court of Human Rights – so that his government may, for instance, deport those who look a bit terroristy, without further ado. It is also why he devoted an entire year to lobbying for the leeway to modify the social security rights of newcomers to out shores; to a very minor extent – otherwise he would have had no choice but to renounce the EU wholesale, and Brexeunt forthwith.

All in all, the Conservative party has established a sterling tone on this referendum; and done our country a fine service. It’s high-time that people were more appreciative, if you ask me.

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