The EU referendum, immigration, and racism – a special guest post by Bonnie the right-minded dog

by richardhutton

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If you ask me, which – I would note – no one has, it is long overdue that concerns about immigration received a fair hearing. I’m not prejudiced myself, but millions of ordinary dogs are deeply concerned about the number of cats now living in our country. Some of my best friends are cats, and even they agree there are too many of them around these days.

You can’t say anything about it, of course, or people will call you barking. Well, I say it’s high-time that Britain had a frank debate on the matter. Open-border kennels allow any cat, with a mind to take advantage, free entry into Britain; and if you think that too many cats are coming to the UK, you’re branded a Catophobe.

Politicians must begin listening to hard-working dogs; who are concerned about the influx of cats putting pressure on local vet’s surgeries. Certainly if the tabloids are correct, cats often jump queues – and are given favourable treatment; with free blankets and scratch-posts, all paid for by the tax-paying canine community. It is bad enough that cats can receive such benefits at all, let alone raise kittens on them.

What’s more, MPs simply have no idea of the impact that an increased feline population is having on ordinary working-dogs: not least of all through keeping wages low. When I was a pup, fetching newspapers and slippers was duly rewarded with a handful of  kibbles. Yet the treats a working dog receives these days has barely kept pace with inflation. Indeed, 4 out of 5 jobs now go to cats, if what I hear is true.

It simply provides yet more evidence of how much contempt the elites have for ordinary canine voters. Which is perhaps the reason why they have lost almost a full percentile of their voters to the Dog-Whistling Party, in my neighbourhood; where we suffer the unwanted side-effects of uncontrolled cat migration on a daily basis.

Well, I have news for the paw-litically correct brigade: nobody likes to be kept on a leash. If you keep calling decent, concerned dogs catophobic merely for speaking the truth as they see it, than you are apt to commit the odd howler.

If the middle-classes could put their lattes down for a moment, or at least sip them more quietly, they might hear one or two things which should give the establishment paws for thought. They are completely out of touch with the working dogs of England – and have been for some time. There is a pressing need to address this issue, and not simply sweep it under the carpet; or hide behind accusations of ‘catophobia’.

Those concerned about the number of cats in Britain these days are growing in number. What I propose to remedy matters, therefore, is a points-based system. A dog should be accorded two points, naturally; and a cat shall be given one. Two points should be the minimum entry requirement. This seems a fair and reasonable solution, to me. And cats who are caught stealing from bins should be automatically deported. I won’t have it going on in my backyard, thank you.

I am sure that all hard-working dogs will agree.

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