The Right-Minded View: A Bright Blue EU Referendum

by richardhutton


When it comes to the EU referendum, whether Britain votes to leave, or remain, its future is bright blue.

On the one side we have Boris Johnson – a man who epitomises Britishness to the core: maintaining courage under fire, and a healthy distrust of foreign-looking sorts; while sparing no thought for what other people get up to in the how’s-your-father department.

Backed up, as he is, by Professor Field Marshal Iain Duncan Smith – foremost graduate from the University of Perugia; with a proud and distinguished military career to his name: rising to the rank of private, in the same space of time as most people would would attain the status of corporal. Under Smith’s straight and level eye, the barracks’ stationery cupboard he oversaw never had its integrity breached, even once: in three years, not a single paperclip was unaccounted for; whilst he replenished depleted stocks of staples, sellotape, and pencils without fear or favour.

On the other side, we have David Cameron – our nation’s one-man Prime Minister. He may very well have a battle on his hands – what Mr Cameron offers, however, is peace in our time. Half Winston Churchill, half Lord Cardigan, half Admiral Nelson, the PM is simply dauntless: no farthing is ever given, no blind-eye unturned – and no cannonade uncharged.

This is no less than we have come to expect from our nation’s premier, of course. It was merely a matter of months ago that Mr Cameron visited Europe and secured reforms, of an unprecedented variety: he began his sojourn to the continent by asking for nothing; and – adroitly surpassing even the lowest of expectations – he delivered.

Come what may, with such fine gentlemen as these grasping the reins on the ship of state, nothing can possibly go wrong. Britain’s destiny awaits.