PMQs – 3rd March 2016

by richardhutton

Another resounding success for the man who is currently the best Prime Minister in Britain.

Just as a battle for England was once won on the fields of Peterloo, so too has David Cameron successfully rekindled the spirit of old; and triumphed in like manner.

Be it the growing impoverishment of children, hospitals falling into disrepair, the whole European thing, or increasing numbers of people making the wrong sort of lifestyle choice and becoming homeless – it simply matters not. You ask the question: Cameron has the answer.

It is in such moments that you find Cameron at his best: no matter how rough the going may be, the chin is always up, the upper lip is always stiff; and the trousers are always creased.

The consequent skirmish is undoubtedly a moment to record, for the ages:

(Corbyn) Will the Prime Minister address Britain’s burgeoning housing crisis?
(David Cameron) Under our government, the number of people living on rent-free pavements and in the mortgage-less doorways of derelict buildings – with all the fresh air one could wish for, at no charge – has risen by 50%.
(Corbyn) But there are families nationwide who…
(David Cameron) Your mother!
(Corbyn) Yes, but many working mothers are…
(David Cameron) Your mother!
(Corbyn) It’s just that the costs of child-care….
(David Cameron) Your mother!
(Corbyn) If the Prime Minister would only consider how job insecurity…
(David Cameron) Your mother!
(Corbyn) But the costs of daily necessities have…
(David Cameron) Your mother!
(Corbyn) Yes, but the government’s own data on…
(David Cameron) That is precisely where the honourable gentleman makes his bloomer: under my government, the use of made-up statistics is down 300%.
(Corbyn) I see.
(David Cameron) Your mother!

And with that, both the last word and the victory were secure.

Many would hail the PM’s dauntless ability to parry questions, or praise his seemingly limitless capacity for avoiding them. The secret of Cameron’s success, however, is really very simple: he always goes the whole hog; with an upstanding firmness, of no slight order.

Snap verdict: a great steaming pile of triumph for David Cameron.