The Right-Minded View On PM Cameron’s Successful EU Negotations

by richardhutton

I must say, even I am surprised at how swiftly the leftists found fault with Mr Cameron’s bold programme of reforms. ‘Time-wasting exercise’ this; ‘wilful deception of the electorate’ that – it’s always something, isn’t it? Well, the usual sorts can say what they like – but today was a monumental moment in this week’s history; and contrary to what some might aver, the concession Cameron gained is not small – it is simply far away.

What the unmentionables among us fail to realise is that this was not merely a resounding victory for PM Cameron, but a triumph for Britain on the World Stage. Our entire fate as a nation hung in the balance – but Cameron saw us through. Underestimate his statesmanship at your peril, I say: beneath the convivial exterior beats the heart of a fearless English lion, a valiant British bulldog, or at least a particularly mettlesome breed of sheep.

The Europeans thought they could get one over on us – but they reckoned not with Mr Cameron. The scene was set – the luncheon laid-out. The terms and conditions placed on the dining table before Cameron – fiendishly written in fine-print; by people who knew full-well that our Prime minister had forgotten to bring his reading glasses with him.

But Mr Cameron never wavered for a moment. Caring nothing for his own safety, thinking only of England, he raised his left eyebrow a quarter of a centimetre; and when that didn’t do the trick, raised the right one by a full half.

His opponents struck back – demanding an explanation. Well when the chips – or fries, as the Americans would say – are down, that is when you find Cameron at his best. Drawing himself up to his full height, he raised his left hand slowly, waiting for silence to fall, before placing it firmly on his heart; the right hand was then held aloft – the room pregnant with anticipation; before Cameron suddenly – heroically – pointed to a cucumber sandwich on the plate before him: issuing a forceful denunciation of the vegetable world. Then – and only then – were the eyebrows lowered.

The EUSSR bureaucrats gasped as one – and surrendered in the foreign manner. They knew they had been beaten, by the better man.

Thanks to Cameron’s imperious negotiation skills, highly-skilled people from abroad will now be marginally more reluctant to move to Britain and contribute to our economy than ever before. Our dauntless Prime Minister began the quest for reforms by asking for nothing; and today he delivered on this, surpassing even the lowest expectations.

Unlike the metropolitan elites, therefore, I, for one, applaud Cameron’s successful endeavours. He has restored Britain to its true place on the national stage; and put the ‘Great’ back into ‘England’ like never before. It is safe to say that those who disagree merely lack sufficient patriotism.

We all know whose corner Cameron fights, at all times – that of the great British people; and there is a very simple reason for this: David Cameron is a patriot. Future historians will look back and say that this was Cameron’s – nay, Britain’s – finest hour. He brought home the bacon.