The Right-Minded View On The Junior Doctors’ Strike

by richardhutton

I must say, I, for one, am most aggrieved by today’s strike action. If not more than a bit put out. I really think it is most unfair to inconvenience our government this way; along with a number of patients in the process, perhaps, should they be at all necessary for us to consider here.

It wouldn’t have happened in my youth: nevermind a 70 hour week – I worked a 70 hour day during my junior years, as an up-and-coming salesman in the marmalade industry. If junior doctors are unwilling to take a leaf out of my book, then they might at least follow the good example set by our virtuous government ministers, who do so much for the good of the land. You never hear them complain about being overworked or underpaid. That is because they simply have better manners than to do so. Besides, when they are a bit short, they don’t go on strike and inconvenience people; they simply award themselves a pay-rise instead. A better example of conscientious probity I have yet to witness.

In fact the Health Minister, Mr Jeremy hunt himself, has been only too accommodating on this subject: adopting a variety of approaches; all while abiding by the Hypocritic oath he swore to uphold, upon entering office.

First, he applied the principles of homeopathy – reasoning that the less you pay doctors, the better they become. Second, he tapped-in to the inner aspirant, by promising people the reward of minimum wages, just a few years around the corner; if only they agree to the terms and conditions written in invisible ink on their contracts, beforehand. But it still wasn’t sufficient.

The third and final gambit was proposed by the doctors themselves; who suggested between them that the best solution was to employ more people, and pay them all fairly. But what kind of example would that set, I ask. It is the sort of thing which encourages socialism, if not a bit of atheism to boot (don’t get me started).

Yes, some will say that the government’s reforms to the health service have been a success of the lesser-variety for several years now; but to such naysayers, I ask simply this: do we really need doctors at all? Is it really beyond the pale to suggest that people who are ill, or a bit gangrenous in parts, simply take half a paracetamol and find a quiet corner to lie down in, so as not to inconvenience the rest of us?

No. I say steady the course, Mr Hunt. The bold policy of creating a doctor-free health service is a marvel for all to behold.