Some Right-Thinking Thoughts On Quoting Enver Hoxha At Christmas Parties
As the right-thinking folk at the HSBC’s favourite daily paper note today, the notorious villain, Jeremy Corbyn, raised eyebrows by quoting the former ruler of Albania, Enver Hoxha, at a Christmas party. While some very cynical sorts questioned whether this was actually true, I say that a story built around scant evidence, with only vague quotes – shorn of context – to go on, is good enough for me. If we can’t trust journalists, who can we trust?
Corbyn reportedly quoted the phrase “this year will be tougher than last year”; which, if it wasn’t a reference to the destitution many people will suffer following the Spending Review/Welfare and Work Bill – or a reference to the challenges he envisions ahead for his own party – by a simple process of elimination, can only denote his whole-hearted support for brutal communist dictatorialism. What’s more, nobody has managed to locate a single person who could attest that they had ever seen Corbyn and Hoxha appear in the same room at the same time.
But it doesn’t stop there. Here are some chilling facts about Corbyn’s suspicious affiliations, which he and his supporters have been keen to keep quiet:
Corbyn has often made breakfast cereal using milk produced by cows. Every year, as many as three people are hurt in cowherd-stampedes. While there’s no proof that Corbyn is implicated in any of these incidents, can it be denied that Corbyn shows a worrying tendency to continue drinking milk despite them?
Moreover, Corbyn shares a birthday with notorious ‘funny man’ George Formby. But is that all they have in common? Is there not perhaps the same proclivity for saucy voyeurism, under the seemingly innocuous guise of ‘cleaning windows’? You can’t be too careful.
Here is a list of things which Corbyn has yet to publicly condemn:
The fact that when toast falls to the ground, the buttered side invariably hits the floor.
People in workplaces who dunk biscuits into cups of tea, and fail to clean out the resultant gunge properly – before putting their mug back in the cupboard, where innocent passers by are none the wiser.
The devil, and all his works.
Also, why has Corbyn so far ‘refused to dignify’ allegations that he will rename St. Paul’s Cathedral ‘the Great Auditorium of the Proletariat’; and promptly withdraw any and all images of Jesus Christ before replacing them with nude selfies of Union Leaders?
It’s long overdue that these answers received questions. This Corbyn fellow, and his merry brand of extremism, must be stopped.