Some Right-Thinking Thoughts On Donald Trump & Muslims

by richardhutton

As a self-made man, in much the same mould as Professor (though he is far too modest to ever use the title) Trump, I am somewhat bemused by the reaction to his statements about banning certain folk from America’s shores. Surely the man serves as a right-thinking inspiration to us all?

You can’t be too careful with these Muslim sorts. Consider the following, for example – according to research undertaken in recent days*, as many as 1 in 5 Muslims have converted their cat to Islam (Sharia claw); while a further 20% go to sleep at night with their beards still on. What’s more, while 1 in 5 Muslims have passed the Pepsi taste challenge, a further 1 in 5 purport that they can tell the difference between ‘I can’t believe it’s not butter’, and the real thing.

Now, I’m not an expert, but data of any kind is always cause for concern; especially in present circumstances. Facts can be used by anyone these days, to prove anything which is even remotely true. A Trump Presidency will sensibly eschew the inconvenient intrusion of facts – such as climate science – into political rule; and govern according to the dictates of cosmic fate instead.

Besides, few could doubt the quality of timelessness – which is surely a must-have attribute in all American presidential candidates – which Trump possesses in abundance. Many people have asked what the fossil-record will look like in 60 million years’ time. If nylon remains imperishable, then Donald Trump’s hair will look as good as new.

A figurehead for our times.


* five minutes on Twitter, a while back.