The Right-Minded View: On The Migrant Crisis

by richardhutton

It seems clear to me that the only effective way to solve this so-called ‘migrant crisis’ is by using simple, British commonsense.

Thankfully, Britain’s leading intellectual journals – The Sun and the Daily Mail respectively – have been tireless in their efforts to create a welcoming environment of sanctuary for people in need of safety. Whether taking a wax crayon and drawing red lines arbitrarily on maps of the European continent – pausing in sketching-out their diagrams of where precisely we should place the bayonets and barbed wire fences, only to incorporate pictures of unclothed young women from Russia just over the page – or demanding that the EU pull its weight by continuing to provide refuge to the various foreign-sorts of the world, which the Silent Majority of Question Time audience members simply does not want in our country – their wells of compassion have known no bounds.

Arguably their greatest success, however, has been to galvanise David Cameron into action. Cometh the hour, cometh the man – Cameron has spent recent days ably demonstrating all of the qualities which the right-thinking members of society have long associated with him: vigorous, glossy, and unbending – with leadership coming out of every orifice; and blessed with the unique talent of being able to speak with a perfectly confident authority on any subject he knows nothing about.

Without a moment’s hesitation, our courageous Prime Minister promptly arranged a meeting, and ensured that those attending had a choice of tea or coffee; biscuit or cake. The Leftists may quibble at such unstinting generosity – but what they fail to realise is that Mr Cameron is a man of principles. Many principles, in fact. If you dont like particular ones, he has an array of others he is perfectly happy to substitute them with,
at no more than a moment’s notice: the human equivalent of an empty shop, where all items are on sale.

Determined to do the right thing, Prime Minister Cameron promptly commissioned an entire fleet of ‘Go home’ vans which can visit every neighbourhood in the land,
within the hour. What’s more, he had his personal secretary immediately place an order for a fresh round of biscuits and cakes in preparation for his next crisis-meeting;
before courageously seeking-out a photo-opportunity at the European parliament.

What Mr Cameron knows is that Britain has a moral responsibility to help people help themselves: the solution to this whole crisis nonsense is to simply give people a good, sound talking to – setting them on the straight and narrow – by teaching them the virtues of self-reliance, and standing on their own two legs. The spirit of Dunkirk – whereby Britain’s civilians created a fleet of boats to rescue stranded people – must be quashed forthwith. We simply cannot afford to support poor people in Britain. Not if we are to continue being one of the most prosperous countries in the world.

In fact, the government has enough problems trying to engineer ways for depriving Britain’s native poor of what little support they receive in their own right – it certainly doesn’t have time to devise methods for denying even greater numbers of destitute people from the very meagre help they might gain.

I, for one, wouldn’t wish to see government ministers – who do so much for the good of the people – having to suffer the inconvenience of work-related activity during their Parliamentary holidays, just for the Zacs and Sarahs of this world to turn up on our shores, cold and hungry, in need of food and shelter – or suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder – only to be given vouchers for the local Foodbank. Such people have clearly been magnetised by the generosity of Britain’s asylum system – which is, in fact, so generous that many British people have themselves left their homes and their jobs behind, and travelled to other parts of the country in order to live on an income of £30 per week, in the comfort of a hostel, while subject to constant threats of being forcibly returned home by G4S’s finest.

No doubt the Leftists will gainsay at this point; and say something to the effect that “a humanitarian catastrophe has emerged directly out of the very mainstream of British politics; because the general hostility towards migrants and refugees has grown to dangerous levels with the complicity of mainstream politicians, media pundits, and members of the public”; but they would be wrong, as usual.

All right-thinking people will surely agree with Mr Cameron, when he says “By the bayonet or the bullet, they shall not pass. This is for their own good, of course”. The only way to keep things civilised, and retain our moral superiority to brutal foreign regimes – many of them waging wars which necessity apparantly compels us to intervene in – is by using the iron fist of compassion.