Diary Of Reginald Horace – Some Right-Thinking Thoughts On Feminism (And Women In Football)

by richardhutton

From where I’m standing, so much of what passes for feminism these days seems not to be feminism per se, but – instead – an unabashed attempt at achieving socio-economic equality for women in all walks of life. I simply cannot remember the last time I read an article about genuine feminist concerns – such as how to arrange potpourri, or the best way to find a husband. Instead of contemplating the way that having a choice over ironing-board covers shows robust female agency, feminist authors insist on writing about such things as the need to advance the rights, power, and standing of women in society, until they enjoy the same quality of life and financial rewards as their male counterparts.

This is of course not necessarily unreasonable; but anyone with a pair of eyes can see that it has all gone too far. Can it be denied that women comprehensively dominate our society? Well, consider the fact that no fewer than one woman has been Prime Minister in Britain’s history. What’s more, two have been made bishops recently. If this trend continues, it could be as many as three by the end of the century. How many men have even been invited to compete in Miss UK contests – let alone won them? How many men work as nuns? The answer to both questions is, shockingly, none. Yet nobody mentions discrimination here. And how many men have ever been Britain’s Queen? Nobody calls for affirmative action on this – and I have known plenty of men in my time, who were perfectly capable of behaving like the most consummate of Queens in certain circumstances. It is clearly a woman’s world.

Now, I am not one to be judgmental as a rule – having rubbed up against all sorts in my time –but we all know that one thing can lead to another, only too quickly. However, I am also a firm believer in self-improvement. I suggest, therefore, that the best way for women to ensure they stay on the straight and narrow before embarking into any area of traditionally male domains, is to simply ask ‘What would a man do in like circumstance?’.

For example, I was watching a women’s football game only the other day; and noticed that one young lady took a knock on the knee, and paused momentarily to rub it better – before returning to the fray. Now if this had happened to a man who was playing football, the response would have differed markedly: not only would he have promptly thrown himself to the ground, clutching his elbow – and rolling around several times – but if he was not immediately awarded a free-kick, he would explain to the referee and the linesman (and anyone else in the vicinity) that for all they know their leg was broken in three places, and their opponent must be sent off forthwith. Therefore, if women refuse to stick to appropriately feminine sports, such as netball – or rugby union – and wish to be taken seriously as footballers, they may want to consider behaving likewise.

I think there is very little more that can be said upon this issue, frankly; other than to add that feminism seems to be one of those things best left between a woman and her doctor. We all knew that trousers were only the beginning. Worrying times for us all.