Electoral Diary Of Reginald Horace – 6th May

by richardhutton

I am not perfect, as I would be the last to admit, but I have always believed in the virtues of self-sufficiency; and reminding the young of their place in society. So, I felt more than justified in canvassing at the local University campus yesterday. It was therefore jarring to hear a number of students complaining about tuition fees.

‘There are alternatives to University’, I pointed out. ‘For example, only a few weeks ago, I purchased an excellent book of cartoons called ‘The Idiot’s Guide To Maths And Stuff’, from a local branch of Oxfam – though I didn’t much care for the title, the content was beyond reproach. It promised – no, vowed – to leave the reader with a GCSE’s-worth of knowledge, in little more than two hours. This is exactly the kind of skill business needs, if hardworking people are to successfully avoid handing over more hard-earned coin than is strictly necessary to the scrounger state. Despite being second hand, the 45 pence asking price was less a bargain than a steal for anybody who is right-minded and financially-aspirational. In my opinion, in fact, this should be the model for all future education programmes.

The usual nay-sayers will protest, no doubt, but the fact is that in these straitened times belts must be tightened, for the good of the nation; and I for one wouldn’t want to see wealth creators in the city, or government ministers, going short simply in order for little Johnny-pay-no-tax to loaf around his student digs, ‘studying’ for a degree; having his head filled with highfalutin nonsense by bearded know-alls. In my view important decisions should be left to our elected politicians, who are in a position to know what is best for all of us. All fair-minded observers will agree that this is no more than commonsense’.

A strong commanding performance by all accounts; even if I do say so myself.