Electoral Diary Of Reginald Horace – 24th April

by richardhutton

Was compelled to write a letter to the local newspaper for the second time in as many days.

Dear Sirs,

I recently read with surprise – in fact, disgust – the suggestion that we need to create a more equal society in order to avoid social problems developing.

Of course social problems require those of us with a keen conscience to take command, and apply commonsense. It seems to me, however, that there is only one solution to poverty; and it is really very simple: we must reintroduce stocks, in every city, town, or village in the land.

We should then take “the poor” (I use quotation marks here, since the state manifestly gifts these people mansions, sailing vessels, private train carriages, landed estates in the greenbelts, and compilations of gangsta rap and the like on a daily basis) and subject them to a short, sharp spell of being hectored and belittled by members of the public. For their own good of course.

This would achieve several things: for one, it would improve their moral fibre; for another, it would use up ‘still fresh’ fruit and vegetables – with no need to take up valuable space in landfills; and what’s more, it would provide young people with a communal activity. Since leftists are always complaining about the virtues of recycling and environmentalism etc, their only objection would be to the moral uplift aspect of this scheme – thereby proving themselves the decadents they surely are.

It really is high time that self-made people got to determine the most fitting targets of popular exasperation; unlike the ‘poor’, who control every aspect of their personal circumstances, and therefore have nothing to complain about.

yours sincerely

Reginald Horace