Electoral Diary Of Reginald Horace – 19th April

by richardhutton

Was compelled to write a letter to the local paper today. The text was as follows, and explains the circumstance:

Dear Sirs,

I am appalled at the something-for-nothing attitude of so-called public servants these days. Only yesterday, I noticed that a chip-wrapper had been dropped in my front-garden – no doubt casually strewn by some juvenile delinquent, probably under the influence of modern music, who had grown up with too many rights, and not enough responsibilities.

I contacted, in quick succession, the council refuse department, the local social services bureau, the regional registrar’s office, and the police station, before finally dialing 999. To my surprise – in fact, disgust – the reactions I got can at best be described as dismissive – and in the case of one young jobsworth, was positively derisory.

I consider it my duty to point out that all of the officials concerned were of an unprepossessing demeanour – and in the case of the aforementioned young ‘gentleman’, very much in need of a swift lesson in personal grooming.

Far too many people think that these kind of incidents are merely the product of overheated imaginations purveyed in the tabloid press; but that is evidently not the case. What’s more, I have no doubt that fair-minded readers will agree this provides irrefutable evidence that such offices should be privatised forthwith. By contrast to all of the above, the sympathy I received when mentioning this at my local tavern was beyond reproach. This is because hard-working people know which side of their bread the butter is on, and service is delivered very much with a person’s dignity in mind.

yours faithfully

Reginald Horace

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