A Ukip Supporter’s Letter To Channel 4

by richardhutton

Dear Sirs,

With regard to your recent programme, ‘Ukip: The First 100 Days Thereof’, I write in a state of extreme perturbation.

I am not normally a man to take an interest in political matters; but one thing often leads to another, and a line needs to be drawn for the sake of common decency.

There is one word, and one word only, to describe Ukip: Ukip. The true Titanic of British politics. Where the other parties pledge to create a society for hard-working people – Ukip will make one for even harder-working people. While most politicians offer voters the world on a plate, only Ukip promises them a British world, on a British plate. If Ukip were to make a film about themselves, rest assured, it would not be the first one hundred days – but the first one hundred and one.

Only Ukip will tie the minimum wage to the cost of a pint. Only Ukip are putting the ‘Great’ into ‘United Kingdom’. This is why increasing numbers of people are saying ‘Give Nigel a chance, he can’t be any worse than the others’. Many of the same people have complained about this programme; and unlike the professionally offended, some of them even watched it beforehand. Let this speak for itself.

yours sincerely

Reginald Horace, Ukip

(Lieutenant General; Humberside Branch)